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You Are All On Your Own Mate. Realize That.

all-alone

Just read a post by Daniel Scocco, How Do I Get Big Affiliates To Promote My Product?, It is a good and it is a very realistic article. All new bloggers, Internet marketers, Affiliate Marketers or whoever is clinging to the hope and dream that you could become successful by relying on a kick start from someone who has made it, should read, digest and memorize what has been said in that big fat head of yours. It’s a cold world out there, my friends. If you are just starting out, you are all on your own.

It may sound harsh but it is a fact. It has and will always be that way since capitalism was born. I have tried to emphasize time and again that there is no free lunch in this world. If you don’t already know that, you are destined for much agony in life. Be it in the blogosphere or in real life.

You know, when someone has made it in this world, their memories tends to fade very fast. After living the good life, they forget about the initial hardship they went through. After having lobster for so many years they forget the taste of those river shrimps.

Who in this world, other than those born with a silverspoon, can claim that they have the ability to build a city like Rome in a single day. The majority of us starts of with nothing. Some ends up with everything, some with something and unfortunately, many ends up still with nothing. That’s life. Those who ended up with everything has many to be thankful for. Maybe lady luck was by their side. Maybe they were at the place during the right time when opportunities struck. Maybe someone big and important gave them a slight nudge. Who knows. Whatever it was, the important thing is they made it.

There are, albeit a small minority of those who has made it, who looks back and remembers the hardship they went through. They can empathize with the feelings of those who are in the same situation as them when they were starting out. They know what it is like to be out in the cold with no one to turn to. These are the people who has the heart of gold. These are the people who offers a landing hand, even when they have not been asked to. These are the people who do not ask for anything in return. These are the people who do not say, you help me first before I help you in return. You be blessed if you meet someone like this in life.

But in this materialistic world, how many can be the blessed one. The majority of those who made the hard way it never looks back or remember their initial misery. So all those who are out in the cold are left defenceless.

They can plead for help but the answer will be, “You want me to help you, you have to help me first!”

You can say, “But I am just a startup, and I don’t have any resources to help you as yet”

To which, you will receive this very apt reply. “Go build it up then, before you come to me asking for help. You see, we are very helpful people. We always help each other out. Since you can’t be helping me out, how can I possibly help you in return?”

How absurd. Why not do it the other way round. Help those in need first and when one day they become as successful, if not more than you, the favor returned might be many times more that what you have done for them.

So to all my friends who are struggling out there, be realistic. The world is not what fairy tales makes it out to be. Expect no help. Learn to be self reliant. Rather than asking others for help, help yourself. One day when you have made it, you too will have people asking for your help. Hopefully you would not have forgotten how you started and how lonely you felt.

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7 Responses to “You Are All On Your Own Mate. Realize That.”

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  1. Hey Costa,

    Thanks for mentioning my post. Yours is an interesting point of view, and I do believe it applies to many aspects of life. However, I am not sure if affiliate marketing is one of them.

    For example, as I mentioned in my article popular bloggers like Darren Rowse and Shoemoney probably get dozens of joint venture requests every day.

    I also believe that 80% of those are quality products, relevant to their niches, and that have a genuine person on the other side who is looking for some help to launch the thing.

    So you are basically suggestion that Darren or Shoemoney should help all those guys out, and post 10 affiliate offers per day on their blogs?

    If not, how would they choose? How would they make it fair for all the newbie marketers who need their help?

    • Costa says:

      Hi Daniel,

      No, Daniel, whether to help or not to help is entirely a person’s prerogative. I respect that and have no problems with that.

      I do understand that a line have to be drawn somewhere and nobody can help everybody. It’s the criteria that have been set when not wanting to help that bothers me a little. It is something that I highly hope is not used as a guideline to deny help.

      If an marketer already has the resources and ability to be selling products for others, I doubt he needs much help outside.

      It’s those who has yet to build up something for themselves that needs help. Telling them to build up something and be selling something for others first before he qualifies to be helped seems totally illogical to me. The fact that they are asking for help suggest they ARE struggling to build up something.

      It’s like asking a beggar to get rich first before you decide whether to to help him get richer.

      Then of course, I think everyone should realize that the world has never been a fair playing field, When asked to be helped and help has been denied, one should not be sore should just move on. There should be nothing personal and we should never question the reasons for being denied.

      To send back a sarcastic reply like the one you got shows that the guy is petty and arrogant and not worthy of help at all. These are the kind of people who forgets very quickly once the make it in life. They are the vengeful type who takes things very personally.

      I too have asked for help many times and I too has been denied most of the time, but I always make it a point to thank the guy who denied me for his time taken to look into my request. I don’t question their decision. I would rather look myself in the mirror and ask myself what I did wrong in the first place to be denied help by people.

      Cheers Daniel, Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.

  2. Mitko says:

    I will quote another book that I read recently, it’s called the 4 agreements by Don Miguel. “Take nothing personal… people, say or do stuff to you, not because of who you are or what you do, but because of what they have experienced, so take nothing personal” And my point is, these people now being at the top, would not help the beginners, because maybe no one helped them at the start as well.

    They felt frustrated, and probably said to themselves, I will show them, they will beg me one day for help. And when that day came, guess what, they reacted exactly as the big shot, that blew them off! So it’s a vicious circle.

    That’s not just with blogging, but just about anything. As a little fish, no one wants to deal with you, but when you become the big guy, everyone jumps out and “wants” to be your “friend”.

    Just my 2 cents

    • Costa says:

      You are very well read Mitco, but I would not take that as a living skill.

      Doing to others what you have hated been done to you before is not something I would adhere to in my life. It shows a total lack of sympathy.

      Thank you for your 2 cents. :-)

      • Mitko says:

        Of course it’s not a living skill, in a way it cancels out the whole point of becoming successful! The thing is some people really do not deserve any help at all, but there r really nice people out there as well, looking out of just few pointers!

  3. Yes, there are a “few” people who will nudge you in the right direction, but they are few and far between.

    99.9% of the people on the net are truly on their own at the beginning and sometimes forever.